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Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Tonight's episode of The Road to Stardom didn't have a moment quite as classic as last week's did, but there was still a lot of great stuff. First off, a bit of old business: one of the judges is Teena Marie! Ohmigod! I had no idea, but that's so cool.

The main great moment came when they all stopped at a crab shack in Maryland (!) and Frank B started in on Nic. It was just your usual reality-show tiff, but then all of a sudden the tour manager barges in and says, "LET'S HAVE AN MC BATTLE RIGHT HERE!" And Frank's all "Yeah!" but Nic's all, "Uh, I don't do MC battles." But Frank starts going, and Nic sits there and takes it, but when it's over, he says, "Yo, you compared me to Nelly!" in much the same tone of voice you'd say, "You compared me to that homeless guy who smells like pee!" Which was kinda fantastic. I like a world where disputes really are solved by MC battle.

In the judging, Missy had a few great lines:

1) "Ima tell you what Teena Marie said..."

2) "That's so nineteen and seventy-nine!"

3) To the "rock chick": "That sounds a little Britney to me."

Also, she's still working the lollypop thing. Also also, there was this one weird, random shot in between the two folks pleading their cases of one unnamed member of Missy's posse carefully but awkwardly readjusting her studied "cool" lean in the bus.

My two favorites so far are Marcus, who's a Sam Cookey crooner who's still got somewhat of an edge (his song this week revolved around the line "hump in the back," and was fantastic), and Deltrice, who hasn't really shined so much in the challenges but has total star quality. When she walks up to the mic she's totally self-composed, totally controlled, and she really draws in your gaze. Plus, she's hot and can sing well, so that works for me.

The worst by far is Akil, who is about as much a tool as you'd guess from the fact that he's white, has dreadlocks, and is from New Jersey, which is actually equivalent to saying that he's a homeless guy who smells like pee and strangles cats.