Friday, May 20, 2005
I am shocked, shocked that I was not invited to participate in this. As such, I have decided to volunteer my services all free-like and answer up some questions. What is the quickest way to get a music critic in bed?The problem here is the use of the word "quickest." Seducing a rockcrit is a lot like tagging a small, skittish woodland creature: either you can shoot them with a tranquilizer gun and just have your way with them, or you have to spend a lot of time coaxing them, cajoling them, gaining their trust, and generally just doing your best not to scare them away. I don't mean either of these things metaphorically--if you want to be quick about it, well, you can pick up tranq guns at K-Mart, from what I understand, so have at it! (Also like tagging animals, people will ask you, "Why the hell would you want to do that?") But if you're going to go with the more subtle route, two important things to remember are that a) most music critics' sole turn-off is bad musical taste, and b) unless you're quite familiar with their opinions, you have no idea whatsoever what they think constitutes "bad musical taste." Sure, they might be at a Bright Eyes show, and so you'd think you could get to 'em by talking about something related but slightly different, like Iron & Wine, but listen, you have no idea. They could be getting paid to go to that show and are hating it. They could have embraced some sort of weird cosmology where Sam Beam's somewhat apolitical nature makes him a tool, whereas Conor is a big bright shining star. You just don't know. It's much more reliable to talk about things that aren't music, since rockcrits are simultaneously not too familiar with anything besides music while also liking to think that they are. Art's ideal, but books work well, too. When it doubt, remember: they are right, you are wrong. Sure, this is offensive, but it's all in pursuit of the booty. It's also very important to realize that the vast majority of music critics don't like sex. That's why they're spending all their time listening to albums and then writing about them instead of fucking. They might like dressing sexy or talking about sex, but when it comes to the actual business of gettin' sloppy with another human being, they give it one and a half stars. They've spent so long cultivating this universe of microdivisions of taste that the big gross exposures of intercourse represent a horrendous imposition. So while the sex might not be great, just remember--the cred of having bagged a rare rockcrit should make the whole weird situation far more erotic. Or at least a little. My boyfriend and I have a great sex life except for one thing: he is constantly putting on the worst music during sex, i.e. Supreme Beings of Leisure and other dated trip-hop type crap. I can't stand it and it turns me off completely but he insists we listen to it.Well, first of all, you should congratulate your boyfriend on not being a dupe of the "bad taste conspiracy" that you seem to be 100% behind; having the spiritual bravery to admit your wholly shameful musical impulses to your most intimate partner is no small feat, especially when it's causing said partner to massively lose respect for you and no longer want to continue the act of physical love. Now, if that shame trip doesn't work, you might consider making your musical requests during sex rather than before or after. And if that doesn't work, I dunno, punch him and put on Prince. Goddamn men and their music. Do all music critics fuck each other? How can I get in on the action?By becoming a rock critic and replacing the word "fuck" in your question with "verbally masturbate." My wife recently has begun to favor her dildo over me. I've been totally supportive of her desire to masturbate regularly but it's beginning to put a kink into our sex life. How can I compete with a dildo five times the size of my real thing? How should I approach her?Draw a little frowny face on it. No one likes things with frowny faces. If that doesn't work, whine about it like a little bitch until you get your way. Make sure to say afterwards, "Ha ha, my pleasure is more important than yours." Recently I've realized I'm aroused by scat porn and want to try it with my girlfriend. However, I'm also ashamed of being turned on by this and afraid if I tell my girlfriend she'll leave me. I really want to try it. How can I satisfy my sexual curiosity without jeopardizing my relationship?The key here is to "accidentally" introduce poop into the bedroom without it being out-and-out scat, and the easiest way to that is to engage in butt play at the farthest point in time from a shower or a bowel movement. (If you aren't fairly familiar with your partner's showering and pooping schedule, maybe you shouldn't be considering scat quite yet.) So you stick your finger in there a little and they're all, "hey, you know..." and so you're all, "baby, don't worry, you'll like it" and they're all, "but..." and then you kiss them, because they're going to say something that amounts to "there's a lot of poop in my butt and you're about to touch it," and that's never good for the mood. So you're going, and you're working it, and your partner's getting nice and worked up, and then you pull the anal intruder (so to speak) out of there and look at it and go, "huh!" (Or maybe something more smooth than "huh!" though I have no idea what that would be.) This is the crucial moment: if your partner continues to be aroused, then you can start to think about talking about it. If, instead, they get really, really embarassed and put on a robe and go to the bathroom and don't touch you too much for the next week or so, you're shit out of luck, har har har. If that doesn't work, just go ahead and take a poop on whatever available body part you can find, then run away from them while masturbating furiously. That's always worked for me.
posted by Mike B. at 1:01 PM
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Hillary quite rightly points us to the new Kelly Clarkson video, for "Behind These Hazel Eyes." You gotta love someone who apparently said, "Could my next video be like 'November Rain' except from Stephanie Seymour's perspective?" And yes, I know that might be overstating the case a bit (it's like saying "It's like 'Thriller,' but from a zombie's POV!"), and admittedly it does lack a gutiar solo in a church courtyard in the desert, but it's really got everything except for that. Kelly's reclaiming the legacy of Tawny Kitain! Liz, are you taking notes for your next album?
posted by Mike B. at 11:18 AM
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I must admit, I've been a bit confused with people's reactions to the new Sufjan Stevens album ("the one about Illinois"). I'm especially baffled by the idea that the lengthy titles indicate some sort of mental illness. Have you really never seen a McSweeney's? They seem wholly appropriate, drawing on the same filligried Midwestern Victoriana that Chris Ware does, and to similiar effect, i.e. to take some of the air out of the subjects being discussed. Which is nice, although a dry sense of humor wasn't what I was expecting out of a guy who, the first time I saw him live, was drowned out by the band playing next door! If I had to point you to just one thing, I think it would be the transition between parts one and two on "Come on Feel the Illinoise!" Now, I must admit, if there's a disappointment here, it's the fact that Stevens doesn't really seem to be embracing too much stylistic variation in his trip through these many states, although I do like his "state songs" style much better than the quieter one displayed on Seven Swans. Still, we've been through Detroit and Chicago now, and there didn't seem to be much effort to reference the signature sounds of those cities (unless you want to count the vibraphones as a Tortoise nod). But this transition is a significant exception. Sure, on either side of it are two fairly standard-issue, if pleasing, Sufjan vamps. In between, though, the break into one of the best little segues I've ever heard, worthy of a whole song for itself, and, although the instrumentation is that of a traditional concert band more than anything else (trumpet, clarinet, vibes, bass, drums, bells, xylophone, flutes), it sounds most like a disco breakdown, a comparison that would be even more obvious if the instruments playing this little part were different. So, I went ahead and did that. For comparison's sake, here's the original: Sufjan Stevens - Illinoise Transition Orig.mp3And here's the electronic version, with a few minor changes (beat and bassline, mainly) but everything else intact except for the instruments used: Illinoise Transition Electro.mp3Sure, it's not perfect, but I only spent about an hour on it, so all things considered, it was pretty easy to do. And I love it! Breaking it down like this just made me appreciate it more, and if it doesn't end up being one of my favorite pop moments of the year, well, then, I'm crazy. I think people might be put off Sufjan for some of the choices he makes, especially lyrically and instrumentally, but if a horn-hater like me (sad but true!) can embrace this, I think anyone can.
posted by Mike B. at 11:02 AM
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Thursday, May 19, 2005
It's been too crappy a day to get out any significant posts, but here are two random notes. 1) I'm going to the Mets-Yankees game on Saturday! This is exciting. 2) There's something very endearing about walking by the offices of a punk book publishing company and overhearing the following: "He's like, 'C'mon, you gotta push it, you gotta keep going!' and I'm like, 'Uh, I have asthsma, I can't breathe.'"
posted by Mike B. at 4:53 PM
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Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Overheard while walking down Franklin Ave. in Prospect Heights yesterday: LITTLE BOY: I know what I want to be when I grow up. HIS MOM: What do you want to be when you grow up? LB: A sidekick! HM: Why do you want to be a sidekick? LB: Because everybody needs a partner! [pause] LB: I'd wear all black and I'd have a sword, so if anybody took out a weapon, I'd have a weapon, too. [pause] LB: I want to be Spiderman. Spiderman! That's for boys. As for girls, there is the NYC edition of Rock Camp For Girls, which you may want to work at or apply for or otherwise support. It looks fairly great. They need campers, workers, and gear. And, of course, money.
posted by Mike B. at 11:30 AM
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Gilmore Girls! Gilmore Girls Gilmore Girls Gilmore Girls! *deep breath* Giiiillllllmore Giiiiiiirls! OK. So what the hey, people? I miss like four episodes and then tune in for that?! Here, roughly, is what I am wondering: - I initially assumed Luke would say yes, but are there reasons to doubt? Maybe he was rattled by Lorelai's sudden possible job offer? Although she did ask him, after all. - Did the elder Gilmores (all of 'em!) go about that all wrong or what? Your first reaction is always agreement, and then you slowly guilt them out of it, which wouldn't have been too hard with Rory, since she already felt like she made a mistake. But once the hammer's down, it's got to stay down. And it's amazing that they still feel comfortable going behind Lorelai's back, no? Especially in a really common situation like the one Rory's in. - What's up with Rory? Is everything going to go back to normal next season sort of like it did early this season (i.e. she'll reconsider over the summer, go back to Yale, have some doubts and a rough transition, but then settle in) or is she going to go somewhere else? (Miss Clap's theory is Oberlin.) Or bum around Stars Hollow? - When discussing with Matthew, he agreed with Logan's dad's assessment of Rory's chances as a reporter, but in the course of the finale, everyone went out of their way to reassure Rory that he was wrong/mean/manipulating. What do you think? More importantly, what will the show think? - If she leaves Yale, is this a way to extend the show for a few more seaons, given that the original end date was pegged to Rory's graduation from college? Anyway, discuss. ADDENDUM: QV's picture of Sebastian Bach and Abe Vigoda reminds me of the whole going-on-tour subplot, which my mind is too blasted to even consider, I feel. But, um, thoughts? I looked at the clock while they were discussing the on-tour thing and saw it was 8:55 and yelled, "What's going on? It can't be over yet. Is it going to be two hours? What's going to happen?" They packed a lot into that 5 minutes.
posted by Mike B. at 10:56 AM
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I'm not going to point you toward Flagpole for my Keren Ann review, which is pretty half-assed, but will instead highlight the last paragraph of Michael Andrews' QOTSA review, which is so good that I can't tell if it's a joke or true or both: Perhaps its tone is best summed up by the title of a missing track recorded with Dean Ween, the master of which was stolen before the album's final press: "The Fun Machine Took a Shit and Died." That's good stuff.
posted by Mike B. at 10:39 AM
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Steven Johnson's been nice enough to write me about my critique, and promises a response at some point on his blog. So, watch that space! ADDENDUM: He also reminded me of the bit about Dickens in Everything Bad, which I neglected to point out as awesome. I won't spoil it for you (I trust you're all going to read the book at some point), but if you've ever been annoyed by someone bemoaning the state of modern literature by pointing out that in Dickens' day, crowds thronged New York harbor to hear the latest news about Little Nell, and where is the mass audience for great books today blah blah blah, you'll be gratified by his critique.
posted by Mike B. at 10:10 AM
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Tuesday, May 17, 2005
I would criticize David Cross' Pitchfork-sponsored Pitchfork parody, but I am afraid he would in turn pen a satire of my own site, which would be cutting and witty, and therefore totally different than his Pitchfork thing. Oops, there I go.
posted by Mike B. at 2:42 PM
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Whoa, uh, lots of lyrical analysis. Sorry about that. More things about keyboard filters shortly, I promise.
posted by Mike B. at 2:10 PM
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According to der messenger boarden, here are the lyrics for S-K's "Entertain": So you want to be entertained Please look away, don't look away We're not here cause we want to entertain Go away, don't go away Reality is the new fiction they say Truth is truer these days, truth is man-made If you're here cause you want to be entertained Go away, please go away
Chorus: (Whuh-oh-oh) If your (he)art is done? (Whuh-oh-oh) Johnny get your gun (Whuh-oh-oh) Join the rank and file (Whuh-oh-oh) on your TV dial
You come around lookin' 1984 You're such a bore, 1984 (???), well you’re using it like a whore It's better than before, uh, it's better than before You come around soundin' 1972 You did nothing new, 1972 Where the fuck are you? Where's the black and blue? (x3)
Chorus
Hey! Look around and they are lying to you They are lying, huh, they are lying and, Can't you see it is just a silly ruse They are lying, I am lying to you
All you want is entertainment Rip me open it's so freeing (all free-ee?) yeah
Chorus
Bridge: Don't drag me down i'm not falling down (X2)
One-two-three, If you wanna take a shot at me, well get in line, line One-two-three, Baby I've had all my shots and I'm fine One-two-three, If you haven't had enough of me, well get in line, in line One-two-three, You deserve it now it's alright
One-two-three You can drown in mediocrity, it feels so light, so bright? One-two-three ??? One-two-three Give it to me easily if you don't mind, this time One-two-three Yeah, make it sweet & syrupy with rhyme
Don't drag me down i'm not falling down (x6)
Chorus ???fear It's already here There's lots to fear (???) Whose side are you on? Good lord, peoples. I think my favorite bit is "(???), well you’re using it like a whore." It's feminist Mad Libs! What could we put there? Iraq? The Alaskan Wildlife Refuge? The Constitution? Indie rock? I'm also a big fan of the final stanza. Whose side are you on, man? WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?!?!?! Oh sure, I could explain this away if I wanted to--I'd focus on the switch between "go away" and "don't go away" in the first verse to indicate ambivalence about finding and maintaining an audience, cast the final resolution to "please go away" at the end as a coy come-on playing hard to get, mention the "I am lying to you" thing, present the swagger of the bridge as a self-conscious use of rock readymades quite deliberately going for a well-established pleasure point--but I can't, because lord, it's all so sincere. I mean: "You can drown in mediocrity, it feels so light, so bright?" I mean: "All you want is entertainment / rip me open it's so freeing [or possible 'freezing']"? Even giving them the benefit of the doubt and seeing it as self-incrimination, just offhand I'd say it gets beat by a Pulp b-side ("The Professional"). But even that's a hard route to justify, critically. It seems entirely plausible that they wrote this being pissed off at television. The sincerity is hard to deny because it basically comes down to: Sleater-Kinney don't want you to like them. If you're liking them, you are not being true to the spirit of Sleater-Kinney! If you downloaded the leaked album, you are similarly betraying the S-K code of ethics! Enthusiasm is for the weak! Ideally, Rammstein would translate this into German and cover it.
posted by Mike B. at 1:37 PM
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This season of America's Next Top Model would have been much more interesting if the theme song was Fannypack's "Feet And Hands." Don't have a car yet, no rims of chrome,No diamonds, no pretty stonesJust a dresser drawer filled with broken cellphonesBut I didn't pay my bill, so no dialtone...Anticipation, gotta stop wastingTime, let's go, we can all catch a case in Federal court, cos I'm better at sportsSpend the weekend in Wisconson at a chedder resortSpend cheese and Gs with the greatest of easeRude girls know "thank you," "no, please"Got no condominiums, got no home traininGettin so wet you could think it's raininTook a trip to Spain and points beyondPrince took me to an opera but I just yawnedSpawn of the devil, but I chill in heavenGet my 40s and blunts from 7-11...Now we rep shows in other continentsYou rob Mickey Ds for condimentsYou should give your man my complimentsThe pillowcase is where the condom went...You will note the tension here between material need and worldly success, which doesn't entirely jive, but in the context of the show, it's a great representation of the humble beginnings of some of the contestants and their aspirational, occsionally vindictive, visions of success. I'm especially thinking here of two incidents: the notorious "Tyra loses her shit" moment and the South Africa visit. Tiffany is the legendary ANTM contestant who got sent home in the initial cull last season, after getting into a fight with a girl at a bar and yelling, "Bitch got beer in my weave!" She was back this year, and did make the cut, having seemingly chilled out a good bit, really to the degree that she seemed more mature than almost all the other girls. She is indeed from the ghetto, and yeah, "anticipation, gotta stop wasting time," but in the end it sure seemed like the "spawn of the devil...chill[ing] in heaven" were the judges, sitting up on a pedestal, less wise sages and more evil bastards. When Tyra acts crazier than Janice, well, given Tyra's repeated reminders that she herself is from the ghetto, Tiffany starts to seem like the classy one, and Tyra starts to seem like the one getting her "blunts and 40s from 7-11." We always suspected, really; the whole dismissal ceremony is just really manipulative and creepy. Miss Clap is fond of pointing out how the judges break the spirits of all the girls over the course of the competition. The other bit is almost a literal translation--they have, indeed, spent 3 or 4 episodes in South Africa at a fancy resort, and there were not a few incidents reminscent of "prince took me to an opera but I just yawned," especially with our friend Keenyah, who I'm sure has a distinct personality all her own, but I always just confuse her with the rich black girl from the gated community outside of NYC from last season. Her weird insistence on her own uniqueness, in the face of all available evidence, is baffling, and you get a clear sense that if she won, it wouldn't be with the kind of grace we've seen from Eva or whatsherface from Season 2. Tiffany's gone, taking with her the last interesting human being; Britney's gone, taking with her the last interesting personality, withered and beaten down though it may be by this point in the season; and who do we have left? Some people who could really benefit from the kind of bratty attidude Fannypack's so rich with. I've got my fingers crossed for a finale decided by freestyle battle.
posted by Mike B. at 11:26 AM
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I have comments in the Stylus UK Singles Jukebox. They are just OK. You can read my overheated praise of the Stevie track in full. More posts shortly--that whole work thing is really intruding. ADDENDUM: After the fairly effusive praise for the New Order track, which I didn't actually write a comment for, I relistened, and was glad, because my comment would have been really mean. Ana better have like 3 good songs on the next Scissor Sisters album, because, man. Also, maybe you would find the Stevie song more interesting if you thought of it as a musical setting of Bill Cosby's recent grumbles? Less an updating of "Wonder's 'message' era" and more a new-millenium version of the album Cosby did with Quincy Jones. Still no? Finally: mein gott, I didn't listen to the S-K song long enough to realize that the lyrics were anti-entertainment. That's too bad, huh? Because oh, the things I would have to say.
posted by Mike B. at 11:01 AM
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Monday, May 16, 2005
As I believe we've discussed it in the past, I will point you toward the Black Table's fairly good take on Family Guy. I would probably emphasize the weird soul-deadening disgust the show fills you with by the end more, but that's me.
posted by Mike B. at 5:19 PM
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Abby's got a great find here with the Max Tundra remix of "Decent Days and Nights." It's very interesting. Partially this is because it highlights a side of Max Tundra that was present but not very obvious on Mastered By Guy at the Exchange--there's no beat for 3/4 of the song, and the trademark Max Tundra rapid-fire clean beat only comes in for about two bars at the very end. In the absence of drums and his distinctive cut-ups, we're allowed to appreciate the kind of repetition and build he also clearly loves, a repetition less drawn from dance and more from Reich, making it a sort of parallel track to Sufjan Stevens, which may or may not be a fruitful comparison. The Tundra technique here is great because the piano loop he introduces at the beginning and replays, as far as I can tell, through much of the song, is absolutely random and tuneless, but the more things he puts on top, the clearer the music becomes, which is the exact opposite of what usually happens when you layer stuff. As Abby points out, when that string part comes in, the clarity it imparts on everything else going on is breathtaking, which in a way is no different from the traditional rock technique of putting a chord-shifting bassline under a repetative guitar riff, thereby giving it the illusion of variation. But it's also quite different because that part goes away very quickly, and brings back in the xylophone and off-beat organ hits that were only accompaniment before, leaving only an aural memory of the progression. Then the drums come in, and all of a sudden what had been a kind of minimalist composition transitions to a full-blown orchestral ballad, almost "November Rain" in its bombast. It backs off from this, but the fact that he was able to get it to go there in the first place is just spectacular.
posted by Mike B. at 4:29 PM
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Incidentally, if you haven't seen the LCD Soundsystem setlist, you really should. ADDENDUM: I posted this mainly because it made me laugh, but then I thought about it a bit and it's kind of creeping me out. It's like, I dunno, the Decemberists doing their setlists in the form of tech cues or Kraftwerk doing theirs in binary. (Yes, OK, Kraftwerk's setlists probably are binary, but you know what I mean.) LCD Soundsystem are well known for being self-conscious, self-deprecating record collection rock, but this just seems to be taking it to a ludicrous extreme. Maybe it's because the band in-jokes are apparently the same as the band's public jokes, or maybe it's because it acknowledges that people outside the band are gonna look at the setlist, but...ah, I dunno. Never mind.
posted by Mike B. at 11:44 AM
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I had first heard about Steven Johnson's Everything Bad is Good For You on BoingBoing a few months back. (Johnson's previous book, Convergence, had been featured heavily in the discussion forums of Plastic, my primary discussion board at the time, so his allegience with the nerdosphere is well-established.) Then, right before release, there was the article in the NYT Magazine ("TV Makes You Smarter"), plus Jesse sent me an Amazon link to the book with the note, "This thing seems up you alley." It certainly does. If you're unfamiliar, Johnson's basic argument is that, contrary to the widespread idea that popular media has a negative effect on your mental and social skills, it is in fact beneficial to these things. In the course of making the argument he addresses TV, video games, and, to a lesser extent, movies and the internet, drawing on a number of fields of study (economics, media theory, neuroscience) in an attempt to make his argument more or less objective, while at all times shying away from the tendency some popcult boosters have to see its primary positives as hidden, "subversive" messages, instead doing his level best to take the genres on their own terms. Based on this description, it would be understandable if you'd think I would be all for this. But, sadly, I'm not, although I would certainly like to be. Maybe my frustration at the book stems from the fact that it's one of the first mainstream attempts to participate in a project very close to my heart, the acceptance of pop. Maybe if I wasn't so close to the subject it wouldn't be so hard to embrace. But it is. First, though, a few positive points, or at least defenses. It seems a lot of people have based their opinion of the book on the aforementioned NYT article, but that's not really fair, no matter how much it is or isn't Johnson's fault to highlight that particular portion of his work. I'll agree that, taking the article on its face, its case for the ensmartening nature of TV isn't that convincing, but in the context of the book, it comes alongside a lot of really sharp points about brain chemistry and general IQ trends and has far more evidence backing it up. So if you really want to argue with that, please, pick up the book--it's a good, quick read, and at least you'll know where Johnson is coming from. Second, although I haven't really read the Slate dialogue about it yet (quite intentionally), I have seen people saying things along the lines of "Oh great, now yuppies can feel their lives are validated because they watch TV." But this supposed that TV watching is the enemy of all that is good and right and boho and leftist, which, as we all hopefully know by now, is not the case. Johnson in particular comes at it from a uniquely geeky perspective--the introduction concerns his childhood love of stat-based dice baseball games, and the extensive focus on video games is no accident. (It's certainly hard to complain about this aspect of the book, given the almost universal disdain for gaming.) His attempt to bring actual scientific evidence to bear in a work of cultural criticism, especially since he doesn't seem to abuse it for his own ends. And, insomuch as he's trying to convince parents that pop culture isn't necessarily bad for their kids, he makes some great points about the apparently zombie stare of game-playing actually being an intense focus, one fixated on problem-solving rather than escapism. More than anything else, it's worth praising him for the content of his television section, which, purely as a piece of structural criticism, is fantastic and insightful, well worth reading in full (the NYT article left out a bunch of great stuff about economics and semiotics) if you're at all interested in the form. In addition to identifying some great new plot techniques, he also makes some good points about the way the wide availability of DVDs and the prevalence of syndication has encouraged show creators to make entertainment that rewards repeat viewing. But, that aside, I think the ultimate direction he took with the book was a mistake, a direction which, though it pains me to say so, was probably a direct result of the very male-geek perspective that otherwise makes the book so useful. One of his big premises is the "Sleeper Curve," the idea that pop culture has been getting more and more complex,[1] and that this, in turn, has made our mental processes more rigorous, more able to process complex forms of pop culture, and thus encouraging even more complex entertainments. But as he goes on, this idea tends to take on worrisomely subversive overtones as he tries to make the case that it's essentially tricking people into learning. This, in turn, locks him into a very geeky utilitarian position that results in fallacies such as this one: The modern viewer who watches Dallas on DVD will be bored by the content--not just because the show is less salacious than today's soap operas (which it is by a small margin) but because the show contains far less information in each scene. (p. 115) Now, honestly, who has ever watched a TV show and complained about there being too little information? I'm not implying that people prefer their TV stupid, just that stupid and smart aren't really the rubrics by which we actually assess TV. It just seems a wee bit autistic to insist that we make our critical judgments so objectively, to say nothing of the idea that the amount of information is a valid objective standard.[8] The weird thing is, he's not blind to this argument--he devotes a whole (albeit short) section to bemoaning the falloff in consumption of the book form, especially novels. So he understands, I think, that we consume culture for complex reasons, that our pleasure can be tied up as easily in something simple as something complex. It's just that the argument he's making forces him into implying things like after you watch The West Wing, All In The Family can no longer bring you joy. (Particularly not true when you consider that AITF can be more offensive than South Park.) Still, the complexity theory does lead to some interesting points. Of particular interest to clap clap blog readers would be this one: [A] significant financial reward does exist for entertainment creators who attract [early adopters] to their products, because it is precisely those experts who end up persuading other people to watch the show or play the game or see the movie. The way to attract [early adopters] is to make products complex enough that they need experts to decipher them. (p. 174-5) Hey, can you say Blueberry Boat? But, unfortunately, he goes on: The way to attract these experts, then, is to give them material that challenges their decoding skills, that lets them show off their chops. Instead of rewarding the least offensive programming, the system rewards the titles that push at the edges of convention, the titles that welcome close readings. You can't win over the aficionados with the lowest common denominator. (p. 175) This is a false dichotomy. A cultural object can be both straightforward and offensive; complexity is just one factor among many. For instance, if Blueberry Boat was about, say, space aliens instead of pirates and traveling salesmen, I would not have been interested, to say nothing of the fact that it also had to be in English and (to be honest) the follow-up to a masterpiece of an album like Gallowsbird's Bark. These are all just tracking variables in the great game of cultural capital; to focus on complexity in isolation leads you to some pretty worrisome conclusions. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the one instance he addresses pop music (in the endnotes, natch): If pop music today doesn't appear to be experiencing the same Sleeper Effect that other mass forms have, that's partially because the repetition revolution already transformed the music industry some forty years ago, when it switched in the mid-sixties from a business that revolved around throwaway singles [ed: !!!] to one anchored in albums designed to be heard hundreds of times...Ever since the days of the Victrola, popular music has gravitated to songs that would instantly lodge themselves in listeners' heads, but all that changed in the 1960s. Suddenly the top sellers were long-format albums that rewarded repeated listenings, that offered lyrical and musical complexity unimaginable in the jingle-driven markets that had come before. (p. 225-6) Well gee, Steven, when you put it that way, it sure does sound ridiculous, doesn't it? You mean albums intended for repeat listening like the second Boston album or Fleetwood Mac's Tusk versus "throwaway singles" like those offered by Kid Creole, Donna Summer and Aphex Twin? Gee, that sounds a bit...well, you know. It certainly does make the focus on complexity seem narrow-minded and quite conservative.[2] And that's exactly what's wrong with Everything Bad is Good For You: the second half of the title. Frustrating as schoolmarmish condemnations of pop culture may be, the fact is that our enjoyment of it is not rooted in edification, in what's "good for you"--it's based in pleasure, in entertainment, in, fundamentally, aesthetics, and that point of view is almost wholly absent here. It just seems very Newsweeky to try and sell people on pop culture based on its healthiness. I mean, ew. Since when are we concerned with what's good for us? Since when has art had to have a practical purpose? Johnson makes a point of how we can't judge new forms by the standards applied to the old ones, and quite pointedly precedes the first section of his book with the following McLuhan quote: "The student of media soon comes to expect the new media of any period whatever to be classed as pseudo by those who acquired the patterns of earlier media, whatever they may happen to be." --Marshall McLuhan (p. 15) Kudos to him for keeping this in mind, to say nothing of the fact that he made me like something McLuhan wrote.[3] But the fact is, in his focus on complexity and healthiness, he falls into exactly the trap McLuhan was warning about. For instance, near the end of his discussion of games, he comes around to addressing the content by admitting that, given the outline of the plot of a Zelda game he just laid out, he can see why people might regard them as foolish and kind of dumb: I suspect that some readers may be cringing at the subject matter of those Zelda objectives. Here again, the problem lies in adopting aesthetic standards designed to evaluate literature and drama in determining whether we should take the video game seriously. (p. 56) Great point! It seems here like he's heading toward a articulating a new aesthetics that will embrace what's so wonderful about video games. But, sadly, he turns away: If you approach this description with aesthetic expectations borrowed from the world of literature, the content seems at face value to be child's play: blowing up bombs to get to Dragon Roost Mountain; watering explosive plants. A high school English teacher would look at this and say: There's no psychological depth here, no moral quandaries, no poetry. And he's be right! But comparing these games to The Iliad or The Great Gatsby or Hamlet relies on a false premise: that the intelligence of these games lies in their content, in the themes and characters they represent. (p. 57) But the problem is that the content is the aesthetics. Johnson mentions that word just long enough to put it in our heads before moving right back to a practical consideration, the aforementioned complexity/healthiness thing--there's no aesthetics to speak of if you're ignoring the themes and characters and plot! (It's also telling that he never actually mentions what TV shows and games look like, a primary source of aesthetics, instead focusing on abstract ideas of structure.) The whole "different standards for different genres" thing is great, but Johnson simply isn't sticking to it. He's failing to articulate new aesthetic standards to replace the ones he thinks aren't applicable here--a task which I think is eminently doable, and long overdue--which means that he can't show how those new aesthetic standards could overcome the old ones--a task that is even more doable and even more overdue--and, therefore, can't really win the argument. If you have any doubt about my critique here, observe how he resolves the above argument. Check out what standards he thinks should be used to judge video games: I would argue that the cognitive challenges of videogaming are much more usefully compared to another educational genre that you will no doubt recall from your school days:
Simon is conducting a probability experiment. He randomly selects a tag from a set of tags that are numbered from 1 to 100 and then returns the tag to the set. He is trying to draw a tag that matches his favorite number, 21. He has not matched his number after 99 draws.
What are the chances he will match his number on the 100th draw? (p. 57-8) A word problem? Gee, Steven, way to make me never want to play a video game again. "Hey dude, want to come over and play some word problems?" "Uh...no thanks." It seems a little weird to be arguing against video games being juvenile and shallow by comparing them to a goddamn elementary school math problem, doesn't it? Does Johnson really think people are going to say, "Well, I guess I was wrong about video games, they're at least as artistically valid as something come up by a standardized test writer in Idaho." And this is exactly why his argument fails: practical considerations like healthiness and morality and intellectual rigor have never been the standard by which we've actually judged art; they've just been a stick used to beat it from Aristotle to Wilde to Karen Finley. Philistines might make charges like "corrupting the youth of Athens" but this is really only because "writing shitty philosophy" isn't a charge you can get someone executed by--"I don't like the art you're making" is still ultimately the argument that's being made, and this is nothing if not an aesthetic argument. Johnson's geek worldview leads him to think that he can actually make an objective argument and convince people, but unless the evidence is overwhelming, they're going to continue to use pop condescension as an easy excuse for sneers, because, well, because it makes people feel good to do it. If you actually want to change the majority viewpoint about pop culture, you have to do something that artists have been doing, again, for thousands of years[4]: changing our aesthetic standards. What's so frustrating about this to me is that it would seem to require only a small leap, only a minor change, to accomplish, but we're so set in our standards, so locked into these partisan positions that we can't seem to break free. But the only thing we need to change to embrace pop is this: being able to view pleasure as being as legitimate a standard as artistic worth, because they're both, after all, equally arbitrary[5]; being able to stop using a cultural product's status as entertainment as an easy way of dismissing it. I'm ultimately unhappy with Johnson's book because I'm uninterested in any argument about pop that doesn't embrace its possibility of rapture.[6] Pop's power comes from the fact that it is so popular, and it wouldn't be so popular if it didn't give people an immense amount of pleasure, and this pleasure is in no way, shape, or form entirely tied up with the number of plotlines in a given episode. Pop's genius lies in the new ways it has discovered to convey happiness, to impart joy. That video-game stare is concentration, sure, but it's also the look of someone who's having a very good time doing what they're doing. But we are unwilling to embrace this. Because of the particularities of our culture, we seem unable to accept the best argument for something being good is that it makes us happy, and until we are, I'm not so sure we'll ever be able to fully accept pop.[7] All of this said, I don't want to actually discourage you from reading Johnson's book; I just thought it could use a critique from someone who's sympathetic to its aims. Despite its fundamental flaws, a lot of the details are absolutely fantastic. [1] This all leaving aside, of course, the fact that he dates this trend more or less from the invention of television, ignoring any complexities in legitimately pop entertainments--radio, song, etc.--that predated TV. [2] I hate saying things like "conservative," but I'm doing so pretty deliberately here, because what Johnson's advocating reminds me particularly of goddamn T.S. Eliot and the whole "difficulty" thing which I thought we all abandoned when we realized it results in pretentious, unreadable crap. Uh, not that I have a grudge against Eliot or anything. (That "Hollow Men" riff was rockin!) But still, I don't think focusing on the intellectual rigor of a work is a particularly new or useful idea. [3] Perhaps, like Foucault and so many before and after him, he's been seized on and misrepresented by partisans. Maybe I should read him, but, eh, I've got TV to be watchin'. [4] An idea I'm stealing from Arthur Danto, who is interviewed here. [5] By which, to be clear, I don't mean that pleasure should be held as a higher value than artistic worth, just that they should both be considered. [6] The only time Johnson really does this is in a quotation in a footnote, taken from this article: "We need to learn not to treat differences in taste as mental pathologies or social problems...We do not need to share each other's passions. But we do need to respect and understand them." [7] Plus, pop opponents, think of it this way: the sooner people fully embrace pop, the sooner there can be a backlash, and you can start liking the counterculture unashamedly again, because you're actually rebelling for once, yeah! Anarchy! [8] UPDATE: Hillary, currently immersed in Dallas, even thinks they're wrong about the amount-of-information thing.
posted by Mike B. at 10:28 AM
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